try and try again

song the day: God of this city

if i used all my time i could...
1. write a novel
2. photograph something that would change the world's perspective and call everyone to action
3. be closer to God
4. have a clean room
5. actually do my homework on time
6. have a body like Meghan Fox
7. learn korean, french and swahili ( want to learn them all...)
8. be so good at dance that i could go to worlds (dream on...)
9. reread pride and prejudice
10. conquer the world
***
feeling thoughtful. i think i'll forgo what happened today and think outloud here... so i have this friend named jackie who i recently discovered is pregnant... i was thinking about how much this will change her life forever. like she cant ever go to summer camp again really, which is where we became good friends, and she will never have a normal highschool (she's sophomore like me)... i dont think she's still with the father at all and its just... i dunno. it boggles my mind. i cant imagine having a kid at my age! like would my parents xpect me to buy the diapers? would i have to get a babysitter for the kid if i wanted to go to a friends house? so twisted... why jackie, why?
***
cool sites:
1. when you want some good music--->http://www.pandora.com
2.when you need a smile--->http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1tXoad/www.incredibox.fr/
3.when you want to zone out http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2zIYgS/www.jacksonpollock.org/
AND... this is shameless, when you just dont know what you want...
4.http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2nJhAh/www.nobodyhere.com/justme/nose_send.here

peace.love.dried apricots.
shae

live today

good concept. really, if you think about it its pretty epic, i think budha said it... or the dahlai llama. which reminds me, i swore that guy was an actual llama for most of my life... no joke. anyways, its monday which makes it RANDOM day! so here goes
1. yak milk is pink
2. shooting qtips from straws... covered in food coloring, good plan.
3. never try to kick people... fatal results
4.when in doubt, choose c... its usually the answer
***
read this and be amazed:


Congratulations on being the creator of a new
Evil Plan (tm)!
Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: Mom never loved me
Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first devour a pope. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, paralyzed by your arrival. Who is this evil genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a dark gunslinger?
Stage Two
Next, you must desecrate the eiffel tower. This will all be done from a underground secret headquarters of doom, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of alien life forms hasten to do your every bidding.
Stage Three
Finally, you must tauntingly wave your armies of destruction, bringing about the apocalypse. Your name shall become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, and no man will ever again dare roll his or her eyes. Everyone will bow before your dashing good looks, and the world will have no choice but to give you control of the planet.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2aZkzi/www.darksites.com/evilplan.php go there to make your own... post it on your blog after completing... i want to read this!
***
not feeling up to talking about my day xcept to say i rolled my ankle... owwwwwwwwwww

love, peace and a bowl of sherbert.
shae

cage of stars...

song of the day:skyway avenue by we the kings
i've had this as the song of the day before i'm sure, but this morning when i woke up my siblings were singing it loudly so i think that qualifies it as song of the day material. well, the garage sale was pretty good, i got 2 rings (yaaaaaaay), and some clothes (not much)... let me stop for a moment as i dont think i've ever mentioned my love affair with rings.... well, i am now mentioning it! i love rings. forget necklaces and bracelets (altho i do like them), i'd choose rings over them anyday. plastic ones are my current fave, i get them from a semi-local chinese restaurant for fifty cents each, but i bought some great ones that were normal (not plastic) from the garage sale. lovelovelove.
***
questions for anyone who reads:
1. what do birds do in the spring before they make nests and their old ones are shot... where do they sleep?
2. do birds communicate as we do? what do they say as they sit in the tops of the trees and chatter happily?
3. do birds ever wish they could run like humans do? because we all wish we could fly like birds and the grass is always greener, right?
over and out
shae

memory runs like a hunted thing down the paths i cannot retrace...

song of the day:vanilla twilight by owl city


read the title... this was in a poem we had to memorize lately for school and i thought it was really an incredible line... anyways. so my week in a nutshell, starting with monday


*monday-boring. came home from school. ate dinner. did homework. studied for psycho exams. took a shower.slept


*tuesday-boring. dance. home. ate dinner.did homeword.studied for psycho exams.


*wednesday- unusually horrid. had oodles of homework, and a lesson to prepare (more on that later). oh, and psycho exams to study for. didnt get to go to yg with court :(


*thursday- boring. came home. ate dinner. slept. did homework.went to sleep


which brings us to tonite, which was... intersting. it was a fundraiser for my schools HS trip which is coming up (yaaaaaaaaaaay!) so of course i had to go (agh) and help serve tacos and dump out candy for little kids. whatever. it was alrite at first, boring... but then one of my alltime best friends (see picture, grl on the left, named faith) showed up and she tends to make things a bit crazy... i love her! then, when i thought it couldnt get better, my friends shannon and maggie showed up and completed the party (yayhoo!) so when i wasnt helping with games, we all went outside and took crazy pics of us being nerds (as always) and just in general ran around like crazies. and me and liz (bestfriend/worst enemy) reenacted something that happened years ago... when she was in love with a guy who loved her back... long story, no details for you guys altho (sorry, classified!) anways, it was a good night. oh yeah, except i totally tore a hole in my windpants b/c me and liz noticed how slippery the gym floor was so we took off our shoes, ran as fast as we could then dropped and slid until we stopped, then we struck a pose. so mature XD.
***
so, my lesson on wednesday. or rather, the lesson i prepared for on wednesday. first of all, i ended up getting a 105% ( yay me!) so i was glad, but let me explain what happened. i had two pages of material to get across... so i made fact sheets so they could totally ditch their books, and we went over electricity, THEN for our review game i supplied everyone with a small straw andthey shot nerds at a target drawn on the board if they got a review question right. epic. so all this planning i had to do however, meant i couldnt go to youth group (sadness....) but next week i'll take the place by storm, look out woooooorrrrrrrrrrlllllllddd!
***
2morro i get up early to go to a giant garage sale (cuz i'm cheap...) bcuz i need clothes for my HS trip... we cant wear jeans (that rules out half my wardrobe) or shirts with words (there goes a fourth), or shorts above the knee (there goes one eighth...) what does that leave? like 3 shirts and one pair of shorts. tragic. plus i love garage sales in general.... incredible finds!!!!!! alrite, all this to say that i need to go to bed.
love.chocolate nobakes.pink lemonade.and some gummies for goodluck
shae
PS the pic is from last years HS trip to DC me and fe were feeling angry at the world... hence my demonic face XD

epic today was not

as master yoda would say " epic today was not.... but in your future much hope i see... use the force...." more later... its dinner time!

never is

k, had to steal this from courtney

26. What color is your watch? invisible
.27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? Kangaroos.
28. Would you strip for money?no... eww
29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?dunno, with friends go inside, by myself through the drivethrough
.30. What is your favorite number?17 .
.31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone?some lady who called to talk to mumzy
.32. Any plans today?homework...shower....chores... nothing epic
33. In how many states have you lived?here. and ocasionally in denial altho that may not count
34. Biggest annoyance right now? school. cant stand it
35. Last song listened to? vanilla twilight by owl city <3
.36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? z y x w v u p o... hmm not past o
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? i wish!
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?old old tennis shoes that survived the swamp and the mud outside, and have recenltly been decorated with pink sharpie and whiteout thanks to my home-bro
39. Are you jealous of anyone? not that i'd admit
40. Is anyone jealous of you?psh. no, they'd be crazy to!
41. Do you love anyone? of course! friends, family, cat...
.42. Do any of your friends have children?NO! unless my mumzy counts...
43. What do you usually do during the day? daydream
44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? not really. maybe strongly dislike, but not hate
45. Do you use the word hello daily? yup. i really do
What color is your car? same color as my watch :)
46. What size wedding ring do you wear? uhhhhhh i dunno!
48. Are you thinking about someone right now? of course.
49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?nope
.50. How did you get your worst scar? a kitten i married at the age of 9 clawed me... oww!

happy spring... what, is this alaska?

happy spring my lovely blogger friends! FYI you all rock. just had to throw that out there :). k, wipe you eyes, sentimental moment is officially OVER! so its spring today, and yet it snowed. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH! yup. its so bad i had to resort to pirate language. oh puleez. i dont want to talk about that crappy snow, so lets move on to yesterday. wait, can you move on to yesterday, should i say now lets reverse to yesterday? either way.... yesterday. it was so warm that i had on shorts, teeshirt, flipflops, the whole summer atire~ we even had s'mores and swung on the swingset and climbed trees. altho b4 the fun, me and my friend Annelise (isnt that a gorgeous name?) had to help my mom shovel/move the dirt from our side yard where the backhoe dug holes for our egress windows. so we did that for awhile and made friends with several cordial worms, AND ate brownies! and laughed at the groups of "thugs" that would occasionally lumber down our street like bears waking up from hibernation. maybe they do hibernate.... the "thugs" i mean, obviously bears do!

***

i get to lead again tonite, should be good. the kids are always really entergetic so its alot of fun.... its always a stretch for me tho, i'm not shy per se, but not really a big crowd sort of person but i figure kids forgive and overlook mistakes so its a good character building thing... the more i do it the more i love it and the easier it becomes!

***

well, i went running yesterday (yay me!) even tho i hate it with a passion XP!!!! i dont mind running in the privacy of my own home, but something about being on display as you run around the town all sweaty and out of breath that makes me cringe... obviously thanks to snow there is no way i'm running outside but my dear friend the treadmill let me know that he will be more than happy if i took a run, not sure if i can discipline myself to do this tho... i'll let you know since i'm sure your all so concerned ;).

love and thoughts of spring!

--shae

two words made my day...

song of the day: walk away by kelly clarkson

welllllllllll its monday, and you know what that means~random day! if you werent with me last week, thats when i proclaimed it so.

RANDOMNESS

1. my best guy friend colored my old tennis shoes with hot pink sharpie stripes then added embellishments with white out.... they look totally sweet

2. i got busted for doing front handsprings in the hall again...

3. i named my fishies: edmund, harvey, ella, marigold, zelda, david and brinkley

4. the sky is BLUE!

5. two words made my day...

***

let me explain the 2 words thing... ok, so theres this thing that if you help out at the local church dinner on certain nights, you get a free pass to disneyland for a day... so me and my mumsy went to help out. well, i got stuck scooping coleslaw (siiiiiiiick), and pouring glasses of milk, water, and coffee for people i didnt know. somewhere along that time, some guys from this really coool place that takes in teenage guys with no where to go showed up. now none of them were like WHOAH but there was one who was tall and blonde and deathly sarcastic who i found myself watching just because he was hilarious. so imagine me, elbow deep in coleslaw as i scooped it into these little plastic containers and him waiting to go around with the cookie tray AGAIN, standing in semi-awkward silence as i continued to scoop. i was about to ask what his name was, when all of the sudden he blurts "you're gorgeous" smiling shyly. as he said this, i SWEAR time slowed down too a crawl and i felt this rush from my head to my toes and i smiled like an idiot and said "thank you, so whats your name?" like a complete retard. he told me his name was DJ and that he went to the local public school (for the last 2 months i guess) but i was still in shock because... well, i dont think i am! gorgeous i mean... and i'm not saying that because i want people to be like " ohh yes you are!" i dont do crap like that, i say it because i'm serious... because today on a day when i feel anything but gorgeous, some crazy sarcastic kinda morbid blonde dude told me i was. and he didnt say hot, which always erks me because.... i dunno, just sounds sleazy, he said gorgeous. thank you random stranger, DJ, i may never see you again but you made my day. thanks :). i wil blog about the rest of my crazy day later, but now i must awsay to my homework (eew)

love, peace, and an eternal supply of pink lemonade,

shae

obama...wisemen... herman....

k, well i'm usually clueless on politics, and today is no exception. however, after a recent cbox conversation, i decided to post a song that my lil sister and i wrote during the election... sung to the tune of my bonnie lies over the ocean.

Obama sailed over the ocean

Obama sailed over the sea

Obama met up with a whale shark

McCain won the presidency

Bring back, bring back oh bring back some morals to me to me

Bring back, bring back, oh bring back some morals to me

We all know McCain is ancient

But come on, Palin's so cool

And just cuz Obama can bring change

It doesn't mean that he should rule

Bring back, bring back, oh bring back some morals to me, to me

Bring back, bring back, oh bring back some morals to me!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*

voila! we made that up while washing the dishes one day, brilliant, i know ;)

***

i went to youth group 2nite ( yaaaaaaaaay) which was alot of fun, me and my friend went together and ended up getting there extra early, so we walked around the place ( its huuuuuge) and i showed her my sweet hannah montana mike and made sure to grab my nametag so i could bring it home and "polish" it ahem lose it ahem.... around christmas at youth group, they had these wisemen that they'd use for dodgeball, like instead of a bowling pin they had these two wisemen ( white and black to be non-racist) and it was so funny to watch the wise men get smashed to the ground... i'm sad now tho cuz there's no wise men. *sob.

***

my poor father... my sisters spilled pickle juice on his laptop (weird right? and i'm thinking if they hadnt been eating nasty slimy floppy pickles in the first place...) and it died! but now he has this adorable tiny lenovo who (or is it whom? who whom... i dunno) i have named Herman. it has this sweet thing called face recognition where it scans your face til it finds your eyes... its totally high tech! see, i'm clueless when it comes to techie stuff, i still cannot even wrap my head around the concept of a thumb drive... how are all my files there?????? how do pages and pages of pictures and words run from my computer to a little thumb sized thing in like 5 seconds??? mind.blown.

***

2morro is back to Purgatory so i wouldn't mind being shot now to avoid that... but whatever. i'll l et you know how that goes (gaaaaaaag)

well, its bedtime my friends.. i shall speak to thee on the morrow. pleasant dreams.

shae

so wrong, so wrong, so wrong.. sooooo riiiiiiiiight!

song of the day:she will be loved, maroon 5

****its sunday. its rainy. its wonderful.****

its one of those days where all you want to do is curl up under your covers with a good book and doze the day away... its gloomy, but in a good way. but before i go on and on about today, let me tell you about yesterday. i was sposed to be in a parade but... yeah, convinced my mother to let me skip ( good since it was cold and rainy, and prolly would have ruined my dress and wig which are verrrrrrrry expensive) so we went to the expo. my little sister had to hand out branch adventures brochures, but the rest of us were free to do whatever we wanted... which was good because his cross our sword/ATI ( the band from branch adventures... i love those guys!) was playing and they epically rocked! when me and some staff kids (mackenna, salem,abby, and some other blondie) werent rocking out, we toured. picking up candy, thumbing through cheesy brochures, giggling at the large woman working up a sweat as they zumba danced up on the stage~note. if you are ever going to wear a tanktop and dance around with your arms up, shave your pits! this poor woman was totally into her dancing, but... creeeeeeeeeeeepy. basically, the expo was fun.

***

no, we are not seventh day adventists. honestly. we just go to church saturday nights bcuz that works best for us... my school totally hates the idea but... anyways we go saturdays. so after the expo, we came home for like an hour and headed to church. i had to lead the kids singing and verse which actually went pretty well, the kids were entergetic and cooperative.... i was the only one with a problem. halfway through, my hannah montana-esque mic flew off from around my ear and hit me in the back of my head! so as soon as it was time for the verse i was yelling, trying to get the kids to shut up already so i could talk without the mic, when my dear mumsy came up and saved the day~finding my mic , which was now resting safely on my shoulder, and hooking it back around my ear.... hahahaha. would have been embarassing to anyone else, but i dont have much dignity, so i just laughed...

***

*sigh. i have yet another crush.on a geek. total, utter, complete geek. and a grade below me (agh) altho he's my age and is taking segment 2 already ( soooooooo jealous) and the thing is, in all honesty, he's not really cute. but when you spend alot of time with someone ( he does tech for me, so he's always around), you realize you dont care what they look like... and i dont. i've given up on hot guys, they're so unattainable! so give me a mediocre looking guy with a good sense of humor who loves God, and will ocasionally buy me a raspberry ice cream and i'm dazzled :).

later gators.

shae

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee're off to see the expo...

alrite, well this is gonna be short bcuz i have to leave soon, but me and my fam are going to some expo... i'm excited!$5 massages and haircuts ( good, bcuz i desperately need one), little samples of chocolate and shampoo and muffins... and my branch adventures ppl. okay, branch adventures is one of the best camps on earth (second only to ao-wa-kiya). they are so incredibly laid back about everything... i love it. last year i helped with day camp as an assistant counselor with my mommy, and then i got to go to worship camp for like 30 bucks instead of like 150!!!! so basically, branch adventures rocks. enough said. k, well i shall update you on the expo later, but for now i desperately need a shower and some breakfast!

wish me luck...

shae

squish the fly, stomp the bugs, punch the air, look hot!!

song of the day: tu amor es un sueno by tercer cielo

<-- taken by moi at arlington... okay, for some reason this just made me laugh...

~*~*~*~

friday. thank God! and it rained yesterday ^-^ i was soooo happy, something about rain wakes up the little kid in me and makes me go " AHHHH! PUDDLES!!! LET ME OUTSIDE!" plus its means no more snow, atleast for now, which thrills me utterly as i am so sick of winter. so me and my family are going to adopt a kid or two in the next few months, so we have to get up to code and all that crap which includes me getting an egress window since i live in the basement.

What is an egress window good for?

1. when its raining, you can open it a bit and hear/smell/feel the rain

2. when its raining, you can let the poor cat in and your parents wont know ;)

3. when its summer, i can open it and look at the stars

4. it lets in sooooooooo much light, it makes me happy

5. if i ever feel like escaping... no screen baby!

***

well, tonite was my sports banquet. it was alright, good as can be xpected i guess (XP). i got the hustle award (yay me!) and so did my best friend/worst enemy... pretty cool. i played vball by the way for those of you who are like " did she play ping-pong on a proffesional league, or do water ballet or what?" sorry, not that exciting. altho i do dance... i luv to dance. me, my mom and 2 sisters do irish dance which is... i dunno how to explain it, its seriously a sport tho, those girls in competition are FIERCE! i was sposed to be in a parade for dance 2morro, but talked my mom out of it bcuz i dont feel like getting my dress and wig and blahhhhhhhhh blaaaahhhhhhhh blaaaaaaaaah just to march in a parade and wave at people i dont know. am i making any sense here? so back to the sports banquet... afterwards my family stayed really late and was chilling with the pastor and his fam but i was in the auditorium on the piano bcuz i just got sheet music for drops of jupiter (yay! the piano is soooooooo much fun, awesome chord progression!) and to put it nicely, our piano is dastardly out of tune, so much so that it is painful to play. yup, that bad. so i got to play on an expensive piano!! altho bad thing of the evening~ i had to wear a skirt. sick. i hate skirts. see, i'm a jump in the swamp and catch frogs kinda grl who hate skirts. so wearing a skirt every frappe day for school gets a little madddening!

***

so i changed the pic at the top because i got so tired of looking atmyself everytime my blog popped up, talk about LAME, who has a giant pic of themself on their blog? i'm such a loser... so i found a pic i took, edited in picnik (dear picnik, i love you most ardently... marry me?) and voila! oh yes, and stole some wisdom from our dear departed martin luther king jr.

***

its my bed time, so now i bid you adieu.... sleep well, and wish me luck because i have to lead singing for the chitlins at church again 2morro :s... always a character building experience...

as always,

shae

late again... from wednesday~sorry!

today was alright for your average wednesday... ya know. altho ok, heres what made me mad. so we have chapel on wednesdays and todays message was on " who do you say i am" --that verse, i think its in mark? neways, afterwords our upstanding and most holy superintendent came to the front and said ( i can quote because he does this nearly every week after the message from a dif pastor) " with heads bowed and eyes closed, i just want to ask you a question this morning- insert question- raise your hand if you -insert details- amen, i see that hand, amen. anyone else? amen. father, you see these hands, but more importantly you see our hearts. - insert a few closing words- i pray that you will help us all to - insert details- thank you father. amen." no joke, nearly every week. so back to the point, today he wanted to know if our friends knew we were Christians, and if we felt convicted to be more effective witnesses to them. uh well, i didnt feel convicted. is that totally wrong? nope. i think i do an alright job talking to my friends about God, and God wasnt telling me that i needed to do a whole ton more. so i left my hand down. in the next 5 minutes, my dear and holy superintendent proceeded to blubber in a teary prayer about how it burdened his heart that some of his own students didnt feel the need to witness to their friends. rewind and freeze. okay, that is sooo not what i meant my leaving my hand down. ugh!!! does anyone else see what i see here?

laytah.
shae

a little late

this was mondays post but my computer freaked out so heres it 2 days late

song of the day:confidence by teddy geiger

Its monday, and i officially deem monday random day. so.



FIVE RANDOM THINGS FROM TODAY:

1. My mom finally bought me oyster crackers ^-^

2. Timbuktu is a real place~honestly. and we sang if you're saved and you know it in their language today... Timbuktuin?

3. My best friend/worst enemy called my teacher Mom... weird, he's a guy

4. I found my old cat stuffed animal~yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

5. I heard a joke about a duck. it wasn't funny.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

so i dont usually do this, but i'm not feeling like writing about my life, so here's a poem i wrote instead...



this is the beginning of the end

all the rules we know begin to bend

and parting now we go our seperate ways

hoping we will meet again someday

the times we shared, the memories made remain

but life as we once knew will slowly fade

til all we have is empty smiles in vain

and pictures smudged and wrinkled from the rain

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

i'll post about life tommorrow xcept to say this~ he didnt leave.

lost.

.:shae:.

please dont try to hard to say goodbye...

song of the day: skyway avenue by we the kings

i should be relieved that he might leave. he's been screwing up my life for so long... but what will i do if he really does leave? let me explain. he was asked by the head varsity baseball coach to pretty please transfer and play for them because he rocks (and he does) so he'd be transferring schools, as in leaving my school. as in leaving my grade. as in leaving me. so what do i care? he's nothing to me, just a retard that catches me off guard now and then. he's nothing special, not gorgeous or particularly charming or nice or appropriate at all. and maybe thats why i always end up giving him a second glance, a second thought, a second chance. because he's so different from all the other guys i no. he's a rebel by my school's standards... he wears aeropastle jeans low on his hips and hollister shirts slightly frayed for effect, he listens to rock music with an ocasional swear word and talks about it from time to time, he watches R rated movies then comes to school and replays his favorite moments, he has a totally trashy girlfriend who is all over him all the time... he's a challenge. an idiot. a loser. and so so so confusing. half the time i wonder what he's thinking, and the other half i don't even want to no. but back to the transfer thing, if he goes, he's gone by monday. like gone without a trace and i CAN'T believe it will happen... but at the same time what if it does? what if he never shows? and here's an even more complicated thing, if he leaves, his mom cant teach history nemore. ouch. so... i dunno. but he's been saying that he'll leave the school for years now, all the time! i dont think if will happen. but what if it does? will i make it through the day? duh. will i be alright? duh. will i move on? someday. will i forget him? no. will he forget me? sooner than you think. did he ever like me? psh. no.... why not? same reason you're currently single whats that? ask them.

***

ok, stars usually mean a new subject but i'm still not over this, what if he does leave? he wont be on the highschool trip to laugh with... he wont be in the halls to throw things at.... he wont be in study hall to make fun of... and i wont see him anymore. and wont that solve all my problems? dont i want him gone so i can have my thoughts back? ugh. this is all so confusing. i'm going to bed.

born in this world as it all falls apart,

shae

walrus or pengiun?

song of the day: wake me up when september ends by greenday

well, today my schedule was back to normal... but... i dunno. it was alrite. i finished chalking a pic for my art teacher (yay!) and it looks pretty good if i can say so myself. otherwise the day was pretty good~we got to go outside for PE and me and my bestfriend/worst enemy made a giant walrus with our footprints. epic. whats cooler than a giant walrus? maybe a giant pengiun... dunno.

***

sorry guys, but i dont feel much like blogging tonite. i'm so confused, a jumble of feelings and questions. not sure what to say. nothing seems worth talking about.

maybe tommorow,

shae

its not enough.... it never is!

dear boy,

what does she have that i dont? when she walked in i thought of dumping spaghetti on her head...whacking her with a large pillow...feeding her to a polar bear... but instead i smiled and said " hey!" in a friendly manner. you suck. so tell me, why? WHY? WHY? WHY? i hate you. you are a snivelling idiot and i hope you drown. or die of mono since you're always kissing on her. eew. WHY? will you get out of my head? i dont want you there. i want you to fall off the face of the earth and stop messing up my life. is that too hard for you? please. just go. i cant take these games anymore.

love,

shae.

song of the day: until the end by breaking benjamin.

call it chicken salad!

song of the day: run away by cartel

so i totally made a new blog today! dont worry, i'm not abandoning this one~ its a blog for book reviews cuz i go through books like a fat kid goes through donuts in a bakery but i never remember the titles so i can read them again... totally annoying. so i invented a book blog more for my own sake than anything i guess.

***

today was alrite... you know, just the norm. school with my bestfriend/worstenemy and other stupid classmates. luckily SATs end tommorow (yay!) so we can finally have a norm schedule again! man~ its been so messed up lately! but really, this week is going by so slowly! is it really only tuesday? sooo weird! like really, i could have sworn it was atleast thursday... agh. i hate that. see usually these weeks fly by, but for some reason this one is like in slow mo! i live for the weekends to sleep, but on the weekends i live for the week so i can get back to the stupid drama that awaits within the doors of a place called Purgatory. or school. call it what you like. i know, that makes no sense. welcome to my world. well, nothing great happened. i didnt get smacked in the forehead with any revelations of incredibleness or insight so i'm still a bit lost, but if it was perfect, would life be any fun? maybe. if perfect was all we knew, then we wouldnt know what we were missing, would we? so it might not be so bad. but if we had had even 2 minutes of life now, we would never be satisfied with perfect because you learn that the crap you have to go through makes the ending so much sweeter. so what is perfect anyways? is it something that can be achieved, caught and kept in a jar so we can marvel and let a little bit out at a time? or is it always out of reach, not even worth reaching for? *sigh. my brain hurts. i have to go to bed bcuz i have to get up at 4:30 to watch my sibs... long story involvins surgery and my fathers work, but i dont have time to tell it today. later.

-- the grl with so many questions.

maybe tommorow

song of the day: someday nickelback

today i went to the library! yay~ totally the highlight of my day, but more on the crappy day later- back to the library. so its not our town library, its about 15 minutes away from where we live and we almost never get to go there~ so us getting to go is a big thing... go ahead, call me a book geek, s'alright, its true. we went there alot over the summer and once (btween 4 kids) we checked out 64 books! the librarians think we're crazy... and i think they hate us because all that swiping under the barcode and stamping really wears on those wrinkly arms of theres. and this is what i got:

1. Peter and the secret of rundoon ( for my book report ^-^)

2. Dream factory

3. My most excellent year ( looks incredible)

4. A great call of china ( not sure, looked interesting)

5. Scrambled Eggs at Midnight ( AHHHHHHHHH! BEST EVER!!!)

6.This lullaby ( on tape yay!)

7. Dreamland ( also on tape)

so i know what i will be doing for the next few days...

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but about my crappy day. we have these stupid things called SATs at our school, but unlike most schools where you take them to get IN, we take them every flippin year! there are 8 of these wonderful tests ranging from social science, to vocabulary, and they take FOREVER. can you tell i'm not happy about taking them? no sir. or ma'am. or whoever you are.

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so maybe tommorow will be the day i've been waiting for. i dunno WHAT i'm waiting for, but maybe it'll happen 2morrow. its just... nothing special ever happens, i am one of 3 sophomores in a school of 40 kids ( k->12) so i dont ever get invited to parties, i cant go to prom ( school rule) , my parents won't let me get a cell phone, i dont have a boyfriend and dont expect to have one anytime in the near future... whats left? oh yeah, the rest of my boring life. but maybe tommorow... maybe my life will suddenly be untangled and i will know who i like and what i want to be and who i am for now... maybe tommorow i will find what i am looking for and become someone new entirely. but until then, i'm here. blogging my life.

until then,

shae